Couples Therapy in San Francisco
Relationships can feel deeply supportive and deeply frustrating at the same time.
You may care about each other and still find yourselves having the same argument over and over, feeling misunderstood, disconnected, resentful, or unsure how to move forward.
Couples therapy can offer a space to slow those patterns down, understand what is happening underneath them, and build more intentional ways of communicating and relating to one another.
Couples Therapy Can Help With
Communication that keeps breaking down
The same conflicts that happen repeatedly
Feeling emotionally distant or disconnected
Trust that has been hurt
Intimacy that has changed
Feeling unheard or unappreciated
Navigating major life transitions
Differences in needs, values, or expectations that create tension
Uncertainty about whether to stay together or how to move forward
Strengthening your relationship before problems become more entrenched
Couples therapy does not require your relationship to be in crisis.
Some couples come to therapy because something feels clearly wrong. Others come because they want to better understand each other, communicate more effectively, or create a stronger foundation for the future.
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Many couples find themselves stuck in cycles that neither person intended to create.
One person may pursue while the other withdraws. A disagreement may quickly become criticism and defensiveness. Small issues can start to carry the weight of older hurts.
Over time, couples may begin reacting to the pattern rather than responding to each other.
Therapy can help us identify these cycles, understand what each person is experiencing beneath the conflict, and create new ways of responding that feel safer and more productive.
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Better communication is not simply about learning the “right” words to say.
It also involves understanding what makes conversations escalate, what each partner needs in moments of stress, and how past experiences can influence the way each person interprets the other.
Our work may focus on:
Communicating needs more clearly
Listening without immediately becoming defensive
Understanding emotional triggers
Repairing after conflict
Expressing vulnerability more comfortably
Strengthening friendship and emotional connection
Creating healthier boundaries
Making difficult decisions together
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Trust can be disrupted in many ways, including betrayal, secrecy, repeated conflict, broken agreements, or long periods of emotional disconnection.
Repair often takes more than simply deciding to “move on.”
Couples therapy can provide structure for understanding what happened, making space for each partner's experience, rebuilding emotional safety, and deciding what trust needs to look like moving forward.
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Even positive changes can place stress on a relationship.
Couples may seek therapy while navigating:
Moving in together
Marriage or long-term commitment
Career changes
Relocation
Becoming parents
Changes in family relationships
Financial stress
Grief or loss
Changes in intimacy
Questions about the future of the relationship
Therapy can help couples understand how these transitions are affecting each person and develop more collaborative ways of adapting together.
WHAT WE CAN WORK ON
My Approach to Couples TherapyMy style is warm, active, and collaborative.
I help couples look beyond the surface-level argument and understand the emotional needs, fears, expectations, and patterns underneath it. I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman-informed approaches, narrative therapy, and relational approaches depending on the needs of the couple.
Rather than deciding who is “right,” our work focuses on understanding the relationship dynamic and helping both partners take responsibility for creating change.
What Happens in Couples Therapy?
Each session focus on understanding your relationship, what brings you to therapy, and what each of you hopes will change.
We may explore the history of the relationship, recurring areas of conflict, communication patterns, individual experiences, and the strengths that already exist between you.
From there, we work collaboratively toward specific goals.
Therapy may include practicing new ways of communicating, slowing down conflict in real time, identifying emotional patterns, and developing strategies you can use outside of sessions.
FAQs
Do we need to be married to attend couples therapy?
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No. I work with couples at different stages of their relationship, including dating, long-term partnerships, engaged couples, and married couples.
What if one of us is unsure about the relationship?
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Couples therapy can still be useful when partners are uncertain about the future. Therapy can provide space to better understand what each person wants and what is happening within the relationship without assuming a particular outcome.
What if my partner does not want to come?
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Couples therapy requires both partners to participate. If your partner is not ready, individual therapy may still help you explore your own experience and choices within the relationship.
Will you tell us who is right?
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My role is not to decide which partner is correct. I focus on helping both people understand patterns between them and communicate in ways that make change possible.
Do you offer virtual couples therapy?
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I provide virtual therapy to clients located in California. Telehealth availability can be discussed during consultation.
How long does couples therapy take?
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There is no single timeline. Some couples come in with a focused issue and attend for a shorter period, while others choose to work more deeply over time. We will regularly discuss your goals and progress together.
Getting Started